Up on the roof I took this picture just now.
Over the years I have taken pictures of full moons, thinking it could end up a path of steppingstones in my memory, by which I could remember the moments in time. Looking back, trying to see the pattern in it all. Where was I, what was I caught up in? What was my life like then?
One weird thing did occur. When moments did connect.
In the winter of 20o4/2005 I held up job on the telephone helpline for dental emergencies. I had just moved back from London, skinned, and so I couldn’t wait for a creative job to come up and accepted a low wage late hours job, on the phone with people in pain. The office was a derelict building on the other side of town where I had to get to by bike. I was 5 months pregnant at the time.
I had a SonyEricsson phone with a minipixel camera in it, and one evening I took a photograph in the toilet area, looking up through a line of glass. It was a full moon that evening and it peeked right through that small but wide window under the ceiling.
A lot of insecurity went on inside me then.
Six years later I worked in the same building.
I was the art director of one of Holland’s best selling magazine for home and living, vtwonen. The editorial staff of the magazine had moved away from head office in Hoofddorp after the sale of a digital company called Ilse Media. And it was their offices that we moved into after the merge. The building had gone through a complete make-over, inside and out. The facade was covered in glass, there were huge screens behind the pretty receptionists and the elevators were international. But the windows in the toilet area were still the same, and full moon did happen again. My circumstances had changed in pace with the building.
Earlier this year I captured this full moon at the back of the house.
The flat across – where the two bright lights are on – is the apartment where I lived for almost 15 years, except for the period I lived in London. It was a 2 bedroom flat, which I chose from the four available flats on the top floor, its front door right on the top of the stairs, in the light. For more then ten of those years I could not have dreamed I would live where I live now: In the house that we took on as a renovation project, which we stripped bare and made our own. Three floors and a wonderful roof garden.
How I sometimes wish for a flash forward! Who knows what the story to go with today’s full moon picture will be?